The last moments of these days has become an exercise in seeing the futility of repairing any debts to those that have been a part of this life in the "forbidden zone". As a youth, there was a franchise called, The Planet of the Apes. There was one in particular that referenced the "forbidden zone".
The thought of it intrigued my adventuresome nature because of the many "ideas" about my indigenous heritage and the idea that my ancestors never ventured into the deep, lush forests of the ancestral homelands. However, untrue that claim was...it still had an effect.
That is the nature of language and words. The authority to define and categorize objects, things,and people. I am no longer a son, an assistant professor, nor a husband. However, it seems those terms are based on relationships with others. So, they are not stand alone categories like the "forbidden zone". And in some of those relationships, it seems that there are some forbidden zones of taboo. Especially when it requires separation, autonomy or some change. Those titles are very malleable but can be rigid and used against individuals to gain some authority over those that are involved in those relationships. The taboo's can be: do not dissatisfy the students by challenging their intellect and receive poor teaching evaluations and heaven forbid-defend your self from such a practice and stand in your sacred space. The other is as a son, do not become a father like your father. Be better or worse...and if you are able to achieve any of the two then you have challenged the idea. Now, as a husband,there are many taboo's there...especially since it is open season on most indigenous men with ideas about their own needs and identities. But that is the kicker. I knew nothing about relationships outside the taboo of marrying outside the circle of Indigenous beauty. I did it and realize that most people when confronted with their ideas about relationships will resort to the lowest essence of their ideas about others. Especially, if it is a "mixed marriage". I should have ran like the bear down the mountain when I was first accused of being something that fit their idea of me. Shocking to be told and categorized by someone that seemed to be of interest. But I was not aware of this strategy. Be shocked and thrown off balance. I have spent too many years attempting to right that accusation. It was revealing. Now, after many seasons, I can reflect on what that was about. She defined me and I spent the rest of the time attempting to change her mind. However, it did not work. It's easy to call a fireweed a weed and not see the beauty of the roadside flower. And that is all I accomplished was to find that some people are some way and will continue to be that way and there is nothing wrong with me because she categorized me. O'well, my first grade teacher did the same thing...So, the forbidden zone exists somewhere over there. I can almost see it from my chair!
The thought of it intrigued my adventuresome nature because of the many "ideas" about my indigenous heritage and the idea that my ancestors never ventured into the deep, lush forests of the ancestral homelands. However, untrue that claim was...it still had an effect.
That is the nature of language and words. The authority to define and categorize objects, things,and people. I am no longer a son, an assistant professor, nor a husband. However, it seems those terms are based on relationships with others. So, they are not stand alone categories like the "forbidden zone". And in some of those relationships, it seems that there are some forbidden zones of taboo. Especially when it requires separation, autonomy or some change. Those titles are very malleable but can be rigid and used against individuals to gain some authority over those that are involved in those relationships. The taboo's can be: do not dissatisfy the students by challenging their intellect and receive poor teaching evaluations and heaven forbid-defend your self from such a practice and stand in your sacred space. The other is as a son, do not become a father like your father. Be better or worse...and if you are able to achieve any of the two then you have challenged the idea. Now, as a husband,there are many taboo's there...especially since it is open season on most indigenous men with ideas about their own needs and identities. But that is the kicker. I knew nothing about relationships outside the taboo of marrying outside the circle of Indigenous beauty. I did it and realize that most people when confronted with their ideas about relationships will resort to the lowest essence of their ideas about others. Especially, if it is a "mixed marriage". I should have ran like the bear down the mountain when I was first accused of being something that fit their idea of me. Shocking to be told and categorized by someone that seemed to be of interest. But I was not aware of this strategy. Be shocked and thrown off balance. I have spent too many years attempting to right that accusation. It was revealing. Now, after many seasons, I can reflect on what that was about. She defined me and I spent the rest of the time attempting to change her mind. However, it did not work. It's easy to call a fireweed a weed and not see the beauty of the roadside flower. And that is all I accomplished was to find that some people are some way and will continue to be that way and there is nothing wrong with me because she categorized me. O'well, my first grade teacher did the same thing...So, the forbidden zone exists somewhere over there. I can almost see it from my chair!
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